The full Table of Contents

New topics are marked, however the content of *every* page has been updated or rewritten entirely. The core process sequence described in the previous handbooks has been clarified but not altered (you’ll find a number of terms have new names…)



What is mediation?
A useful tool
What makes mediation work?
The mediator’s role
The anatomy of the mediation process
The anatomy of a session
Process-centered mediation
Guiding principles
Mediation terms

The Process

New! Getting to the Table

Can mediation help this situation?
New! How people find a mediator
Voluntary or mandatory?
Initial conversations
Do they want to participate?
New! Defining the scope
New! Approaching the other parties
Should I be the mediator?
New! Pre-mediation agreements and review
New! Choosing a location

The Mediation Session Part I: Exploring the Situation

Preparing yourself, co-mediators
Setting up
Opening: Welcome & warm-up
Opening: Logistics
Opening: orientation
Opening: participants’ role, willingness
Listening to each perspective
The exchange
The exchange: Facilitating
The exchange: tasks & flow
New! Clarify information
New! Check out interpretations
New! Listen for their concerns
New! Example + impact
Restate their interests
Note other relevant interests
Encourage empathy and reconciliation
New! Transition to Reaching Resolution
Separate Conversations
Uses for Separate Conversations
Breaking for Separate Conversations
Separate Conversations: template

The Mediation Session Part II: Reaching Resolution

Reaching Resolution
New! Reaching Resolution: sequence
Topic List
New! Topic List: Why it is crucial
Topic List: drafting
Topic List: Wording
Midpoint check-in
Options: together come up with ideas
New! Options: Gut, interests, workability
Options: Reality testing
New! Decisions: Gut, interests, workability
Decisions: emotions, hesitations
Writing the agreement
Writing the agreement: specifics
Writing the agreement: positive framing
Afterwards: Wrapping up
Multiple sessions

The Toolbox
New! Understanding Conflict

New! Disputes & conflicts
New! Metaphors for understanding conflict
The conflict core
New! Common effects of conflict
New! The pleasures of conflict
When things heat up
The way out is through
The Conflict triangle
People, process, problem
New! Which mode are you in?

Supporting the People

Supporting the people: Main skills
Setting the tone
Level of formality, taking notes
Confidentiality in practice
Giving your full attention
Elements of full attention
New! Handling judgmental remarks
New! From adversarial mode to cooperative mode
Avoid this Kettle of Fish
Attending to comfort & accessibility
Language and hearing difficulties
New! Working with people in all their variety
New! Finding commonalities
Scenarios: emotionally difficult situations

Facilitating the Process

Facilitating the process
Impartial facilitation
Structuring the session
New! Structuring the discussion
New! When you can be directive
New! When to consult
Keeping on track
Crafting questions
Crafting questions: Word with care
New! Crafting questions: spin it positive
Crafting questions: Follow up for clarification
New! Kinds of rewording
Reflecting back
Summarizing: its many uses
New! Working visually
When to intervene
When to intervene: stopping the momentum
When to intervene: slowing the process down
Is it time to quit?
Ending a mediation
Scenarios: Facilitation challenges

Solving the Problem

New! Participants’ starting point: power & rights
Changing the “positions” mindset
Layers of interests
Why interests matter
New! Finding space for solutions
New! Reframing
New! Checking out (mis)interpretations
New! Lies, perceptions, deceptions
New! Plain description of facts and needs
New! Flip it! ? outcome-focused interests
New! Tactful wording of interests and topics
Summary of interests
Topic List examples
Eliciting ideas: Brainstorming
Eliciting ideas: opening up possibilities
Can mediators suggest options?
New! Visual aids for making decisions
New! Types of resolution
“typical” or “good enough” resolutions
New! What-ifs
New! Fallbacks: Contingencies, uncertainties
New! Step-down agreements: smaller scope
When there’s no agreement
New! Final review: Workability
New! Final review: Future
Sample agreements
Scenarios: problem-solving challenges

Going further

Going further
New! Adapting the process
Mediating with children & teens
New! Mediating across generations
Mediating family conflicts
Mediating employee conflicts
Participant evaluation
Mediator evaluation of a mediation
Evaluating yourself
The Handbook “soup pot”
Authors & contributors
Organizational support