Somewhere in my browsing wanderings, I came across the idea that

A mediator’s job is providing punctuation.

A metaphor that makes sense, since punctuation gives structure and clarity to a flow of words.
Which got me thinking about

!@#$ [%^&*():;<&gt] ;,.?’”~ 

There’s probably no place for it in the Handbook, so I post it here for your amusement.
 

Initial capital — signals the start of a new topic.

. A period says the parties have had their say and it’s time to move to the next thing.

, , ,  Commas when a pause is in order, or the mediator is separating out categories

— Dashes for asides and reassurances.

[Brackets for reminders, for stray ideas]

(Parentheses for extra clarification and for examples.)

;; Semi-colons to separate out each piece when conversation becomes too confusing.

‘s  ‘s  s’   Apostrophes to make sure everyone knows whose responsibility or role something is.

Hy-phens for hold-ing group me-mo-ry be-tween meet-ings.

! for some verve and excitement

* for places where the parties still need to define, to fill in the fine print

+ – for evaluating ideas

“Quotations to make sure each person’s speech and ideas are recognized”

? for raising lots of them.

Because, despite the definitive <.> period, the ellipsis reminds us we can never know anything for sure … either what happened before or what will happen next….

Friends Conflict Resolution Programs was laid down in June 2010, after almost 40 years. It had shed its skin and re-emerged in new colors many times. This Quaker program developed a county-wide mediation program during the experimental years of community mediation. In the following years, they worked with schools, giving adult trainings, (and supported each edition of this Handbook). For the past 15 years, Caroline Packard, the main staff person, provided mediation and facilitation services throughout the region, especially for nonprofit organizations, business partnerships, divorce, and institutional disputes.

This year, each week, Caroline and another longtime FCRP volunteer, Joan Broadfield, have been faithfully working with me to produce the 4th edition, and the resulting manuscript is — ack, a mess!, torn apart, added to, shifted around — and, we hope, altogether richer, more accurate, and more helpful than the original.

In FCRP’s early days, they chose program initiatives that were experiments, on the cutting edge of working with communities in need. Once the experiment was ticking along, the project would be spun off to local community ownership in the spirit of “empowerment” which was the buzz word of that era. The county mediation program FCRP started was spun off in 1982.

And now our top has finally spun itself to a close, but the ripples spread wide and make us happy.

Thanks to all the long-serving FCRP staff, starting with Charlie and Ann who both left us long ago. Betty, Eileen, Sandi, Chel, Keelin, & Caroline, as well as Joan, Ed, and Brenda. Love you all.

Elise Boulding died last week. She was an activist, sociologist, mother, feminist, Norwegian-American, author, Quaker, wife to a famous economist-poet, professor, a founder in the field of Peace & Conflict Studies …and much more.

A brief reminiscence from someone who only knew her in passing: When I was a 20-something intern in mediation, I attended the first National Conference on Peacemaking and Conflict Resolution (1983, I believe). Elise Boulding was the keynote speaker. I got up the nerve to speak with her–and as we sat in the coffee shop, two important things happened. The first was that she agreed to write the forward for my book Peacemaking in your Neighborhood. If it weren’t for her endorsement we probably would have sold 300 copies!

The second was a small thing…. As we were talking, the conference organizers swept by, expecting her to come join them for lunch. She declined, and after they left she said with a twinkle, “you know I always avoid the important people at conferences. I like to talk to the 20 and 30 year-olds who are doing the new and interesting work.” At conferences I have tried to follow her example ever since (one notable set of coffee shop conversations was with the nannies of famous anthropologist mothers, but that’s not a tale for a mediation blog )

The final night of the conference, Elise Boulding got up to speak, looked down the stage with its row of men and one woman (the organizer), gazed out into the full hall. She observed that a good majority of the attendees were women. While all week long the speakers been men. Women are given the role of peacemakers in many societies, she said, they are the experts in how to do this work of resolving conflict. The stage should be full of them! The audience burst into wild cheers. And to give all of us in the field credit, many women have come crowding onto the stage since then. Thank you Elise!

Thank you, New Society Publishers, for hosting me for a day on your lovely island! It takes two ferry rides to get there from Seattle or Vancouver.

The press that publishes the Mediator’s Handbook puts out trend-setting books that run way ahead of the mainstream press in promoting sustainable communities. Their lucky staff do this from an island outpost on the far western edge of the North American continent (not counting Alaska…), gazing out their office windows at pine forest, and playing with the charming dogs that accompany their humans to work.

My first encounter with New Society Publishers was in 1985. The activists who started it were living in Philadelphia neighborhoods west of the University of Pennsylvania — blocks and blocks of aging brick rowhomes and, nearer the university, larger victorian era twin houses. The crack epidemic was at its height and many middle class residents and graduate students had moved elsewhere. What a distant reality in time and place from where they are now!

NSP left for the West Coast several years after they published our Peacemaking in your Neighborhood book. After years of phone and emails and snail mails, it was a pleasure to meet their dedicated and hard-working crew in person.

And to plot with them about next year’s new edition!